Chapter 4

The day of February 8, 1999 was heading towards evening, and the sun had never 
once shown itself.  The sky was overcast and gray because of the threat of more 
snow to the city of Port Charles.  From the window of his daughter's third floor 
nursery at Wyndemere, Stefan watched the first few snowflakes fall.  He had 
spent the entire day at General Hospital with Katherine trying to will her out 
of her coma.  However, he had returned once again in defeat.  Because of those 
constant vigils, his eyes were bloodshot, and his face was worn due to the lack 
of sleep.  Stefan closed his eyes in an attempt to regain his strength.  His 
mind began to revert back to a time not so long ago, Christmas 1998.

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Stefan recalled to himself how he had purposefully allowed Laura to find the 
evidence that Luke had caused Katherine's accident in order to finally destroy 
their marriage.  The plan had worked. Luke had left Port Charles, and once 
again, Laura was all alone. The crowning moment in his carefully laid plans had 
been when he had convinced Laura to spend the Christmas holidays at Wyndemere. 
Everything he had ever dreamed of was finally coming true. Nikolas had his 
mother, and he had Laura all to himself.  On Christmas Eve, he had proclaimed 
his undying love to Laura.  Then, they had made love.

Christmas Day itself had been just as special.  He had truly believed that he 
finally had a family: Laura, Nikolas, and Laura's daughter.  Everything was 
perfect, and he had thought that nothing could ever change that moment.  
However, he had been wrong.  He had been so very wrong.  It had simply all been 
an illusion.  

The illusion was broken the very next day.  The day after Christmas was when he 
had learned the terrible truth.  Nikolas was not his son.  For the next several 
days, he had simply sat in his study at Wyndemere trying to drink himself into a 
drunken stupor in order to deaden the pain.

Every decision he had ever made over the last nearly twenty years was made with 
the belief that Nikolas was his son.  He had believed that Laura, Nikolas, and 
himself had been cheated out of the chance of being a family.  Now that he was 
living in reality, he now knew that his great love he had had for Laura was 
really just an obsession.  An obsession about creating a family for Nikolas as 
well as for himself.

He began to think about Katherine.  She was the only woman in his life that he 
had ever really loved.  He had loved Katherine and obsessed over Laura.  Reality 
was painful, but now he knew the truth.  However, because of him, Katherine was 
dead.  Luke may have loosened the parapet, but he was the one that had driven 
her over the edge.  All because of his obsession with Laura.  He wished that he 
had not destroyed the gun that he had used when he accidentally shot Katherine 
over two years ago.  It would be poetic justice if he used that same gun to end 
his own pain.

Stefan continued to think back to those last days of December 1998.  He may not 
be alive today if he had not taken that phone call that came from Greece.  
However, that phone call is what saved his life and gave him a reason to live.  
For the caller was Dr. Tony Jones.  He had explained that he was in Greece with 
Katherine.  Katherine was alive.

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Stefan opened his eyes.  He didn't know how much time had passed. Thinking about 
the past has a way of making a person lose track of time.  He was so deep in his 
thoughts that he almost did not hear the knock at the door.  When he turned 
around, he saw Laura Spencer standing in the partially closed doorway.

"I hope that I am not disturbing you Stefan.  Mrs. Lansbury told me where I 
could find you."

"Of course, come in," Stefan replied.

Hesitantly, Laura entered the nursery and walked towards the crib.  Laura peered 
over the railing to see the baby and said, "Why, she is absolutely adorable.  
May I hold her?"

Stefan nodded, and Laura seated herself in a nearby rocking chair.  She placed 
the gift bag she had been holding on the floor. Stefan carefully removed his 
daughter from her crib and laid her in Laura's arms.  Then, he sat himself on a 
bay window seat, which was a mere arms-length from Laura.

As Laura looked down at the baby she said, "I have almost forgotten how it feels 
to hold an infant.  It seems like ages since Lulu was this size.  Who do you 
think the baby looks like, yourself or Katherine?"

Stefan laughed for the first time in weeks.  "Well, I certainly hope for 
Samantha's sake that she takes after her mother.  The women from my side of the 
family have never been known for their great beauty.  However, I think Samantha 
is going to break that tradition.  She already has her mother's crystal blue 
eyes.  So, I think that she is going to grow up to be just as beautiful as her 
mother.

Laura stroked the baby's hair as she spoke of the past. "I remember after 
Nikolas was born, Stavros demanded that he be named after the last Russian Czar.  
He said it was Cassadine tradition to name children after Russian or Greek 
nobility.  How then did you decide to name her Samantha?  I don't recall any 
nobility with that name?"

Stefan had been experiencing a throbbing headache all day.  He rubbed his 
forehead as he spoke.  "Before Katherine's accident, we had discussed having a 
baby.  Katherine had told me then that if we ever had a daughter she wanted to 
name our baby after her grandmother."

"I see.  So, exactly how is Katherine?"  Laura inquired.

Stefan responded in a disheartened voice.  "She is still in that never-ending 
coma.  Dr. Jones says that he is optimistic about her recovery and that she 
could awaken at any time.  However, Alexis thinks that he is just merely saying 
what I want so desperately to hear.  Sometimes I wonder if she is right.  
Katherine has been in that coma for so long now.  Perhaps, I should start to 
face reality that I may very well be raising Samantha alone."

"Stefan, if you are forced to raise this baby on your own, I know without a 
doubt that you will be a wonderful single parent.  You raised Nikolas into a 
fine young man.  Samantha could not be in better hands."

"Thank you, Laura.  I needed to hear those words."

"I am only speaking the truth.  Nikolas was very fortunate to have you while 
growing up, and Samantha will be just as fortunate. Open the baby present that I 
brought, and you will see what I mean.  It is a reminder of the past."

Stefan reached out and picked up the gift next to the rocking chair.  In the bag 
was a small teddy bear.  For several moments, he just stared at the stuffed toy.  
He then looked up at Laura. "Nikolas had a toy just like this on the island."

Laura smiled.  "I thought you would remember.  When I saw it the other day while 
shopping, it instantly reminded me of all those years ago.  So, in the difficult 
times ahead, hopefully this will remind you of what a wonderful father you have 
been in the past and will be again in the future."

Stefan just shook his head.  "Now, you are beginning to exaggerate Laura.  No 
matter how much I would like to change the past, the fact is I am not Nikolas' 
father.  I will always think of him as my son, treat him as my son, and love him 
as my son. But, I am not his father.  I have come to terms with that harsh 
reality."

"Please Stefan, don't say that," Laura pleaded.  "You have raised him since he 
was just an infant.  In all the important ways, you are his father."

"No Laura, I am not.  I always thought that I was lying every time I introduced 
myself as Nikolas' uncle or Nikolas as my nephew.  Little did I know, I was 
actually telling the truth.  It really is poetic justice."

"I want you to know Stefan that I wish you were his father and not Stavros.  I 
truly believed every time I told Nikolas that he was conceived in love that I 
was telling the truth."

"Laura, I think it is time that we both faced reality.  What we felt on 
Cassadine Island nearly twenty years ago was not love.  It was not even 
infatuation.  It was merely desperation.  When we came together, you had given 
up your will to live and had surrendered yourself to Stavros.  As for myself, I 
had lived my entire life under the subrogation of my mother and my brother.  I 
too was near the breaking point.  In a sense, we saved each other but that is 
all."

For a few moments, there was silence in the nursery.  Then, Stefan continued 
with the truth.  "During Christmas we allowed ourselves to be carried away by 
the moment.  We did and said things that should never have happened.  We should 
never have slept together.  We were simply reliving the past in those few short 
days, and we thought that past was reality.  I admit it now. I obsessed over you 
for nearly twenty years, Laura.  The obsession was fueled on the belief that I 
was the father of Nikolas that the three of us deserved to be a family.  I 
suppose what I am trying to say is that I never really loved you Laura.  You 
were my obsession, and the obsession is finally now over."

Stefan's words stung sharply at Laura.  He could see a sadness on her face as a 
result.  "I hope that I have not hurt you by what I have just said.  However, it 
is the truth, and the truth needed to be said."

Laura tried to mask the hurt by saying, "Not at all.  What you said is true.  We 
did and said things over Christmas that should have never happened.  Like you, I 
was also living in the past, nothing more.  Besides, Luke has returned.  It is 
time I focused all my energy on repairing the damage that has been done to my 
marriage.  Thank you for not going to the police with the evidence that Luke 
caused Katherine's accident.  You have saved him from years in prison."

"Don't make me into a martyr.  I would like nothing more than to see your 
husband rot in a jail cell.  However, it is time this entire Cassadine-Spencer 
feud ended.  Putting Luke in jail would serve no real purpose.  It would only 
cause Lucky and Lulu to live without a father."

In a questioning voice Laura asked, "Therefore, I can trust that our one last 
remaining secret between us will remain that way, a secret."

Deliberately, Stefan responded, "You can believe me Laura when I say that I will 
never reveal the fact that we slept together on Christmas Eve.  I will take that 
secret with me to the grave."

As those words were finished, Mrs. Lansbury entered the nursery. "Is Miss 
Samantha awake?   It is time for her bottle."

"She awoke just a few minutes ago," Stefan answered.

"Would it be all right if I fed the baby?"  Laura asked.

Stefan replied, "Certainly, go right ahead."

Mrs. Lansbury handed Laura the bottle.  As she was leaving the room, she picked 
up a camera sitting on an antique dresser.  "Mr. Cassadine, Mrs. Spencer, there 
is only one picture left on this roll of film.  Why don't I take a picture of 
the two of you with the baby?"

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At the same time across town at General Hospital, a coma patient was finally 
beginning to awaken, Katherine Bell.  For some time now, she had felt a constant 
presence with her.  A presence that had been begging her to return.  As she 
struggled to regain consciousness, images were flashing through her mind.  So, 
quickly were they moving, Katherine could barely catch a glimpse.  She began to 
concentrate, and slowly, the images came into focus.  The images were memories 
of her painful past.  She began to thrash her head about in an attempt to block 
out those memories.

"Dr. Jones," a nurse yelled as she came running to the nurses' station.  "Its 
Ms. Bell.  She is awakening."

Tony rushed to Katherine's private room and pushed aside the bodyguards.  He 
entered to see Katherine thrashing her head back and forth.  Tony took off her 
oxygen mask and grasped both sides of her face.

"Katherine, Katherine, can you hear me?  It is Dr. Tony Jones. Can you open your 
eyes?"

Slowly Katherine tried to open her eyes.  However, her eyelids felt like dead-
weights.  With all her strength, she opened her eyes enough to see a foggy haze.

"Can you talk Katherine?  Let me know if you can speak."

It had taken all of her strength just to open her eyes.  She didn't know if she 
had any energy left to speak.  With a deep breath, Katherine spoke for the first 
time since her fall from the parapet.

"Damian, where is Damian?"